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Leave it to the Kids
Tina K Burton
We recently sold up and downsized to a smaller house. At the weekend, we met up with our friends and old neighbours, and they said that they would love to do the same, but their house - which is the same type as ours was - is eventually going to their now grown up children. So they continue to pay a hefty mortgage on a property which their kids will sell and share out after their deaths. This made me wonder, how many other people are doing the same thing?
Now, we may be in the minority and viewed as selfish, but apart from our personal and sentimental belongings, we're not leaving our daughter anything. The little bit of equity we had from the sale, we are going to use to enjoy ourselves. We gave our daughter some money to pay for driving lessons and a counselling course that she wants to do, but that's it.
My view is - we've done our bit and brought her up, now it's time she fended for herself. Of course we treat her occasionally, and if anything happened and she needed help, we would be there as soon as possible. She also knows that if she ever needs to come back home, there will always be a room waiting for her. But apart from that, she has to make her own life; there will be no windfall after we've been dragged kicking and screaming into the next world!
Whilst talking with my parents on the same subject, I said that without being presumptuous, I didn't want them leaving me anything either; to which my dad replied 'there isn't anything to leave you, we've spent your inheritance.' We had a laugh and joke about it, but he was serious, and I wouldn't want it any other way.
They don't have much as it is - a small modest house and not a lot of savings - but I would rather they spent what little spare money they do have, on nice holidays and things - which they are doing - than scrimped and saved just to leave us children something once they are no longer around. I will be quite happy with a sentimental personal item to remember them by, and my memories.
I recall some twenty years back, my best friend at the time's dad died quite suddenly. He was only in his mid forties. Her parents had led a very moderate life and not even had a decent holiday. After the funeral, whilst sorting out the stuff in the loft because they had to move house, they found over one hundred and eighty thousand pounds, which he had been secretly saving. Yes, it paid the funeral costs and meant the family didn't have to worry about money for a bit, but it broke his poor wife's heart to think of all the things they could have done with it whilst he was alive. They had lived very frugally, treats and days out were rare, but they needn't have been. It seemed such a waste.
Life is for living and enjoying; after all, we are a long time dead, and the next generation will manage and survive, the same as we've managed and survived. Besides, if you don't spend any money you might have, you could find that you've got to use it - or be forced to sell your house and use the equity - if required, for nursing home fees, but that's a topic for another day.
Of course if you happen to be a multi-millionaire, then it's a completely different matter. You have the luxury of being able to enjoy yourself and have plenty left over to leave to whoever you wish, even if it's only the dog.
Hmm, I'm just off to buy a lottery ticket!
Earlier columns.
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