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Just what is it that some people still find so compelling about that turgid TV trash known as Big Brother? Does a show with ratings that plummeted to less than four million recently, really deserve this level of hysterical hype? And for those who thought it was safe to switch on the TV again, the obsession with this quease-inducing cultural quagmire of barrel-scraping garbage continues unabated with the chattering classes still getting their fix of drivelous glossy magazine hype, not to mention their daily dose of unrelenting 'red top' coverage.

I have encountered this puerile pap via the odd excerpt and TV trailer, newspapers (which I can't avoid as, unfortunately, wading through them is part of my job) and unsolicited anecdotes from friends and family, most of whom claim to detest the show, yet seem firmly acquainted with the goings-on of the fame-seeking but talentless occupants of the Big Brother house.

In Victorian times, quirks of nature and monstrosities were known as freak shows; however, these featured the individuals safely behind bars. Judging by the intellect of some of the folk involved in this unedifying mind musak for the masses, a cage would be the best place for them.

What are we to learn from this ghastly game-show ghetto for ghouls? From what I gleaned - and it rapidly became apparent - the following are current criteria for a fast track to wealth and fame:

1. Don't bother with an education;

2. Speak only estuarial English psychobabble, punctuated by expletives wherever possible;

3. Make being thick a personal priority - preferably hone it into an art form;

4. Behave like a mindless yob;

5. Do or say anything, no matter how low and vulgar, as long as it makes 'good' television. (Good television for whom - retarded amoeba?)

What bothers me more than the fact that programmes like this are made in the first place, is that millions are prepared to watch them - and not always the kind of lowlifes you'd expect. I'm talking about decent, intelligent people who regularly invite this shrine to schadenfreude, willingly, into their homes via electronic means.

And what of the media reaction to the cringe-inducing contestants - now set to make a fortune - out of what? Being fat, stupid, a pig - and before anyone gets on their high horse - these were all words bandied two years ago in the national press' Lord of the Flies-style, name-calling hysteria surrounding the bovine-faced and unbelievably dense Jade Goody.

But what is this saying about us as a society? It puzzles me more than the theory of (seemingly temporarily arrested) evolution.

Is it that, nowadays, people are too afraid to go against the tawdry tide of putrescent popularism because they want to keep face with their peers? To admit that you have never felt compelled to gaze upon this ghetto of grotesquery is to set yourself up for ridicule. Paradoxically, the increasingly silent majority are now themselves the freak show: you're considered odd if you don't subscribe to the current penchant for vacuous voyeurism.

Oh well, I'll stand up and be counted. There are some things in life I simply don't want to look too closely at and believe me, the warped mentality of what passes for entertainment these days is definitely one of them.

 

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