When I went to an auction & would be away for the day, I would give my wife a sum of money to buy herself something she wanted. When I returned she had bought the most cuddly beagle puppy I had ever seen, another auction, another puppy, & so continue ad infinitum.
I firmly believe now that when the children grow up & leave home a lot of women have to have a child substitute, be it cats, dogs (a husband if he is lucky) or a lover, on whom to bestow their love & affection. I didn't mind, as at least it kept her busy & close to me.

Being very intelligent she read all the books she could lay her hands on, listened to the hallowed authoritarian of the dog world, spent two evenings a week & many hours of the day training her dogs. Naturally in time she went to more & more dog shows & began to have success in the ring.

I was very proud of her, I loved to see her win first the small shows & then championship shows. Soon she required a bigger house with more ground so that she could kennel her dogs more conveniently. She began judging & again how proud I was of her knowledge, competence, authority, & organisational expertise. I realised that as she was away from home more & more, in order to stay more compatible, I also should purchase a puppy to show, & forgo my own hobbies.

Eight weeks is a long time to wait from the time one ordered the puppy & then travelling hundreds of miles to go & see the litter when it is born. Ten balls of fluff were cuddled up to their mother, how did I know which one to choose? Finally one wiggly waggly tail waddled away from it's mum & tried to eat my shoe. That was the one! Then a further wait of seven weeks before the puppy could leave its mother & I could bring her home. When I think of the size of a fully-grown Labrador, how was it possible for that ball of fluff to crawl under a low sofa & refuse to come out?

At first she wouldn't eat & I had to feed her with food on my finger. The lady breeder said that I was spoiling her. She began to grow very rapidly, I remember the first time she saw snow, almost buried in it, wagging her tail & trying to eat it. In the summer when the French windows were open she would come racing down the garden when I came home from work. Again that winter when the French windows were shut, she ran out through one pane of glass, gave me a wonderful welcome, then ran ahead of me through another pane of glass, miraculously not suffering a scratch. We went to a few shows & did well, then wonder of wonders she got second at a Championship show & was eligible for Crufts. My wife also had three dogs at the show, I didn't expect to win anything, the Labrador classes were so large, but we gave it a try. Cindy behaved perfectly & as we stood in front of the judge. With her titbits in my pocket so as to tempt her to stand correctly & be "gone over"as it were, I dropped all the titbits on the floor Cindy thought I was giving her a treat & scrambled all over the ring to get her reward. The judge whispered in my ear "never mind old man it happens to us all".

Cindy was almost four years old when my wife suggest that she should have a litter before she became too old. I think I suffered as much as she whilst she gave birth to nine glorious puppies. I never cease to wonder that without being told, taught, or otherwise informed, an animal knows how to bear succour & take care of its litter. She kept picking one puppy up & with a whimper would cast it aside, I in turn told her not to be silly & put the pup back on her nipple for it to feed. This happened several times. The pup died & I know that Cindy was casting aside a pup that was not destined to live. I kept one pup for my daughter & we named it bumble, she was kept in a kennel with smaller dogs & I'm certain this is the reason she became highly strung in later life.

When my wife left home I went to the doctors & told him I thought I was having a breakdown. He told me that I didn't know what pressure was & I should try being a doctor, (he was about 25yrs old). When I told him that my wife had left me after many years of marriage he asked me if I was suicidal & I told him that if I was I wouldn't kill myself with his drugs but drive my car into a brick wall. He insisted that I take the drugs prescribed & they were not habit forming, (how wrong he was), however I threw them into the dustbin & told Cindy my tales of woe. She listened patiently then looked at me with her great big hazel eyes, she knew when I was sad, laughed when we were happy, she stood remote when required, supplied affection, loyalty, trust, even stood on her hind legs & danced with me when the occasion demanded. All she asked for in return was one meal a day, but who would look after her if I didn't have the will to carry on?

Five years past by, I had to sell my house, my daughter moved into lodgings, & I moved away taking Cindy & Bumble with me. A few girlfriends came & went but in the main we've been alone. Bumble is a dog but Cindy has human qualities, those great Hazel eyes have all the understanding & trust that one could wish for & moreover loyalty is always forthcoming. Maybe men also have a desire for a child substitute or grand child substitute when one has never seen ones grand children.

When Cindy was fourteen years old she began breathing heavily, & I could only walk with her for short distances before she sat down, looked at me & said, wait for me to get my breath back dad. She loved walking along the beach, walking in all the puddles, with a mischievous look in her eyes, Bumble didn't like the water. Later she began having trouble with her legs, her front leg would give way & she would stumble. I tried to keep her as fit as I could by giving her short walks, but the day came when I took her across to the beach & she laid down & refused to go any further. I saw in her eyes that she was hurting & after a long rest she managed to walk home.

The lady vet said that I should have her put down, I cried. I tried to keep her going but the pain in those large hazel eyes caused me a lot of heart searching. In the waiting room she put her head on my lap, I cannot describe what happened. I broke down, here I was a tough lad as a youth, volunteering for hazardous duties during the war & now I was a soft-hearted old man.

Cindy's grave is at the bottom of my garden, & if there is a God on high & he allows humans to enter the animal heaven, maybe someday Cindy & I will meet again.

home | help | contact | e-mail

Copyright www.Age-Net.co.uk 2000 - 2008