MY COMPUTER

Everybody had one,
Except  for me, it seemed,
Everybody had one,                                 
But me, I only dreamed.

I longed to be a part of it
And have my I-S-P,
I didn’t know just what that was
But I wanted one, for me

Then I would know the jargon-
Re-frag, re-boot, and such,
(I speak quite good Italian,
But that did not help much).

A Silver Surfer I would be
Among the glitterati,
It would be fine to get online
And join the world-wide party!

Then one day in December
At last it came to pass….
Among my Christmas presents,
Oh, what a lucky lass!

So first I tried a letterhead,
A Header and a Footer,
But nowt went where I wanted,
I soon began to splutter…

At last it was completed
Though after quite a stint.
I hit the magic button
And waited for the ‘Print’…

Not a hope in hell had I –
The printer sat there, dead.
It didn’t even flap its wings
And UP I was quite FED.

Well, stuff the printer was my thought,
For I was feeling stroppy,
And in the meantime I shall put
My letter on a Floppy……..

So then I turned to E-Mail-
And soon found I could GET it
But when I tried to SEND some
My Server hadn’t set it…….

I clicked it here, I clicked it there
The damned thing wouldn’t hoss:
And then it CRASHED!  It wouldn’t budge
It showed me who was boss.

I bought the mags, I bought the books,
For long hours I did pore
My PC gave no quarter –
For weeks we were at war.

It really was traumatic,
But slowly, things got better
Now E-mail’s sussed, and best of all
I’m now an INTERNETTER!

I know there’s still so far to go
But Hey!  -  I’m on the way!
So come on you Silver Surfers,
Don’t wait another day –

We’re all in this together.
Let’s make that keyboard sing..
There’s nothing we can’t do because
In MY book, Grey Power’s KING!

Judith Scott